дневник

A more personal page. You'll see mentions of disturbing things, so watch out for that.


17/07/2020 13:37 PM

I keep forgetting to write here. But it's okay because my life is boring as shit.
...I have a GeoCities.ws page now? It's just geocities dot ws slash my name, Nicolae. It's under construction but I feel like it'll look decent at best. Better than what I have here.
...I have been thinking about getting a high feeling in one way of another, without the use of anything illegal or otherwise harmful to my body. I want to feel something that isn't...well, sadness.
The last two entries...I didn't write what time it was as of me writing them. Probably in the wee hours of the night.
I feel like I have epilepsy. I won't go into detail what kinds of seizures I have but I want to get that checked.


11/07/2020

I kinda forgot I had a diary page...whoops! Nothing much has happened though, so you didn't miss out on anything.


26/06/2020

I haven't written anything yesterday. Whoops. My bad, y'all.

...

Drinking water makes me sleepy. I don't know why.

I don't have much to say. I have personified another person inside my head, his name's Ilija. Ilija is such a nice name...I really like it.


24/06/2020 16:58 PM

After crying for several minutes, I realised that I do not need a physical exam. They'll mostly just look for hormonal imbalance, which can also be done by testing for hypothyroidism. But a gynecologist can also diagnose that (apparently), so...

My site is looking good so far! It's almost finished, I think.

I have also thought about getting my nails done, but on second thought, that might be painful. Besides, why go through the trouble of doing that when nobody will be there to notice anyway? It's stupid, if you ask me.

Last night's entry was a vent. Whoops! But most doctors do actually see me as a medical (??? I don't know how else to describe it.) mistake, so it's partially accurate.
this isn't relevant


23/06/2020 22:12 PM

Just found out I'm going to a gynecologist. WHAT FOR? My thyroid's not producing enough hormone, THAT's the problem! But NOOOOOOOOOO, they don't view me as a human! They view me as a MEDICAL MISTAKE! I'm not ready and I just got my autism diagnosis. I might just...well...

Let's just say I want this to stop.


Nevermind that. I already know what to do.


22/06/2020 03:36 AM

I have been up for exactly 20 hours now. 4 more hours and I'll probably pass out, haha.

Overall I'm doing well. I am hungry. The temperature is just right. I think it's raining outside but I am unsure. This is a calming experience.

My mole and the area around it feels weird. This happens whenever I touch a body part too much. Or when I bounce my leg. Somehow, after I've repeated an action several times, my body wants me to repeat said action. Like, if I scratch my chin 3 times, it will feel weird. This feeling goes away after scratching my chin, but it comes back when I stop. I have been touching the area around my mole obsessively, so I feel like if I just ignore the urge to scratch it...I think I'll be fine.

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